real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize