I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
