My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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