Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Randomize