i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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