I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
