I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how can u be prego again
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
