And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
