You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
