What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
