Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
