you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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