Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
