Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize