I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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