Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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