you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
