Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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