I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
