I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
