After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
