You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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