So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
