I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
