I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
