He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
