i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize