i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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