my sisters under your porch take her home
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
