i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
