apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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