pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't deserve a penis
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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