Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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