its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
