On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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