The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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