the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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