i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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