I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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