I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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