Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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