Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
