i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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