You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
