Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
