R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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