no. you can't hotbox the world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
