Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
