i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
