Im at strip club and am horny
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
