:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
