You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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