if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
