my phone needs a breathalizer
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
