Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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