I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
