Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
