What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
