can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
