trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
why do cheetos always look like penises
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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