i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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