Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
