the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
