You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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